


In Sweetness Comes Suffering

by ZeRunaway



Category: X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: F/M, M/M, Unconsummated Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-25
Updated: 2014-09-25
Packaged: 2018-02-18 16:10:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2354570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZeRunaway/pseuds/ZeRunaway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mystique makes assumptions about the kind of relationship Erik & Charles had, leaving Erik to reflect on an opportunity he did not take.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Sweetness Comes Suffering

Raven gasped underneath him, her body ridged before shuddering wildly. Erik brushed his lips along the scales of her neck and planted a gentle kiss underneath her ear before her tight quivers brought him over the edge. Raven reveled in his blissful groans hot in her ear before he collapsed, spent, on top of her.

After a moment to recover he slid off, settling on his back next to her. She rolled on her side and watched him, his chest heaving, passively whisking away the collected sweat off his forehead, staring deeply into the ceiling. Distant. He was always like this afterwards.

“I don’t satisfy you like he did, do I?” She asked rather matter-of-factly. Not offended, more curious. It was hard to feel jealous of someone she too loved deeply.

He gave her a sharp, shocked, glance at the question before turning his gaze back to the roof, “I haven’t a clue of what you’re talking about.”

“I’m talking about Charles.”

Erik seemed to flinch at his name, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and grabbed his trousers from the floor, “You’ve got quite the imagination, Mystique.”

She slid closer to him, “Oh c’mon now, I don’t have to be a telepath to know what was going on between you two. You’ve got no reason to hide it from me, you know.”

Erik, standing now and zipping up his fly, turned to her slightly irritated, “And what exactly do you think was going on?”

She shrugged, “All I know is that I’ve known Charles almost my whole life, and he never looked at any of his girlfriends with half as much adoration in his eyes like when he looked at you.”

Erik turned away, a familiar sting in his chest choking him into silence. His fists balled. She was an observant girl, but unaware of the amount of pain she was digging up.

The scaled woman was suddenly regretful, “…I’m sorry… You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. But… you can you know… with me…”

If not with her, then who? Erik had no one else to talk to, especially about Charles. He felt guilty about being defensive, guarded. He was repeating past mistakes. He sat back down next to her and caressed her cheek, “No. I understand what you are trying to say … and I adored him as well. But we were only very close, Raven. Nothing ever happened between us.”

She tilted her head, Charles wasn’t the type to hold back his attraction to someone, “Seriously?” Her brow furrowed, “Like… not even a kiss?”

Erik simply shook his head, feeling remorse crawl up his throat.

“Was there at least… a confession, or something? Did he know?”

“He knew. He was in my head enough times to know.”

“Then… why didn’t you both-? …What was holding you back?”

Erik was silent, his heart awash in the acid of his stomach. Finally, he uttered, “I was.”

He had had enough of the topic and with that he simply rose and strode out of the room without another word.

\---

The lithe man welcomed the sharp icy bite of the night, seeking freedom from the hidden bunker they were currently operating from. Walking out helmetless was always a risk, as Charles could be using Cerebro and find him. It was a risk he took more often than he would admit. Perhaps he wanted to be found.

He looked to the stars and moon, and remembered.

\---

“Annnd that’s a checkmate!” Charles gloated; slamming a glass of whiskey in victory.

Erik did a double take at the board; Charles had snuck up on him, “Well, then…”

“Something’s bothering you, friend.”

Erik’s eyes snapped up to meet those icy blues, “Snooping around my head are we? Were you cheating?”

Charles chuckled, “Give me more credit will you! I don’t need to read your mind to tell you’re caught up in something.”

Erik shuffled and averted his gaze to the ground, “Sorry…,” after a moment he huffed, “I’m feeling a slight bit guilty, maybe.”

“About?”

Erik hesitated, but it didn’t feel right to hide it from him. It might be amusing to see his reaction, anyhow, “About kissing Raven.” He smirked at the immediate shock on the brunette man’s face.

“You… _You what?!”_

“Easy now, it was only to make a point.”

“And what on earth was the point?”

“That she is exquisite the way she truly is. That she shouldn’t have to hide. Something _you_ should have told her years ago.”

There was a moment of silent animosity between them, a common thing in their relationship really, the telepath sighed and took another drink, “I suppose I know why she showed up naked to me now.”

Erik quirked a brow but didn’t bother about asking the details of that, he assumed it wasn’t in the same way she had shown up in his bed. There was an awkward silence, Charles looked uncomfortable, “…Are you upset with me?”

Charles blinked. He was a little bit of an overprotective brother, but he knew Erik was harmless (at least in that way). More than that there was a clench of jealousy inside him. He was tempted to let Erik feel it. Instead he shook his head, “No, I’m not. But please don’t encourage her; she’s a little young for you, yeah?”

Erik shrugged, “For now,” he teased, and if looks could kill he would most certainly be dead from the way Charles glares at him.

Charles has had quite enough of Erik for the night, he rises from his chair “Well, it’s late.”

Erik is taken aback by the underlying suggestion and regrets how he steered the conversation, “Right. I’ll be off then.” But his chest clenches. He wants to make up for his teasing, spend more precious time with those passionate eyes and smirking red lips. Wants to grab him and kiss him until he’s forgiven.

Charles suddenly pauses, feels his heart jump, “…But you don’t want to leave, do you?”

Erik is confused before his blood runs cold at the seeming response of his invasive thought, “I thought you said you weren’t in my head?”

Charles smirks, “I’m sorry, friend, it slips sometimes. Especially if I’ve had a few. And you were… thinking it rather loudly.”

Erik feels his body ignite in panic. He had tried to be careful around the telepath, tried to train himself to squash those thoughts while in his presence. He trusted him to not grope about his mind purposefully if unwarranted, it was simply a precautionary measure, because he wasn’t sure how Charles felt.

The man was confusing; ever since they had begun their travels together he was not sure if Charles was flirting with him or if it was just his personality. An arm casually slung around him in a cab, a tease when they had to share a bed in a motel _‘looks like we’re sharing a bed, try not to get too excited about that, yeah?’_ pet names like _‘darling’_ and _‘my dear._ ’ It hadn’t bothered Erik, it was simply an aspect of their blooming friendship (the likes of which he had never before experienced), and he even returned the friendly flirtation. But there was nothing behind it, simply play.

That was, until, the day he moved the satellite after trusting Charles to touch his mind - to share a deep, personal, part of himself that even he was not aware of. The way Charles looked at him, _‘There is so much more to you than you know,’_ despite being fully clothed Erik was sure that it was the most intimate thing he had ever experienced, and felt so overwhelmed that his eyes brimmed with tears. But he didn’t feel shame, not in front of Charles who knew everything about him. Who knew the burning hatred in his heart, knew how he had murdered men in cold blood (and enjoyed it), and still said, ‘ _There is good too, I’ve felt it._ ’

And it gave him strength like he had never experienced, and he suddenly felt capable of anything. As long as Charles was at his side. If the moment hadn’t been interrupted, he would not have been able to keep himself from embracing the telepath. Maybe even kissing him.

Erik’s mouth is unbelievably dry, and he knows his face is likely beet red. He feels the urge to throw himself out of the window rather than spend another moment feeling exposed. Knowing that Charles is probably sensing all this from him now only makes it more embarrassing.

“You, uh, … You don’t have to, you know…”

_To throw myself out the window?_ Erick thinks before snapping out of it, “To what?”

“To leave.”

Erik swallows, his heart thumping in his ears, “What are you saying, Charles?” He asks, because it seems too good to be true.

“I’m saying you don’t have to hide from me, Erik. You know that, don’t you?”

After a moment he nods, “I know.” How could he? Since they first met the telepath had made it apparent that that wasn’t an option. But with the way Charles accepted him, he almost never felt like hiding, and now even with this.

Their gaze at one another is tense and full of passion. Charles bares himself to the taller man, letting him feel his openness. His willingness. His desire. Erik looks as fragile as he did when their minds melded on the terrace. It was the sweetest mind Charles had ever been inside. The agony, wrath, and love that raged inside of him like the tempestuous waters that brought them together. Charles tried to tell him how beautiful he felt then. He wants to explore more now, be more, with Erik. But he can feel Erik’s fear. His fear that overwhelms and controls him, even now. Charles knows Erik cares for him, and it is that love that scares and holds him back from opening further, that keeps them from becoming more.

_‘You don’t have to be afraid.’_

For a moment Erik wants to deny that he is, but quickly realizes there would be no point, _‘I know.’_ His hands are shaking.

_‘You can trust me.’_

_‘I do. I want to.’_ Erik has had his share of relationships and flings, but he knows with Charles it would be different. Because he loves him, because he would again be as vulnerable as the boy who couldn’t move the coin.

But he never wants to be that boy again.

Finally Erik starts to turn, “Good night.” And Charles watches him leave. For a moment wishes to force him to stay, but shoves the thought out. He is a patient man, and it’s more enjoyable to work at that cold exterior and watch him unravel anyhow.

He’s confident that they have plenty of time.

**Author's Note:**

> Not much to say about this one, I'll probably be writing one or two more short x-men fics to deal with Cherick feels. Thanks for reading!


End file.
